Christmas Ornaments, Marriage, and Valentine's...

When I was taking down the Christmas tree a few weeks ago, I stopped to reminisce when I came upon one particular ornament. It's nothing great to look at, but to Pat and me, it's priceless.

We went to DisneyWorld for our honeymoon and while there, we searched for a Christmas ornament to commemorate the year of our wedding—1993. But one could not be found in the whole park. Finally, we went to a gift shop and a guy told us they had sold out a couple of months before. When we told him we were honeymooners, he said, "Wait a minute. They give us an ornament every year at our Disney Christmas party. I think I have it." He reached under the counter and pulled out the ornament and GAVE it to us! We were SO excited!

So this year, 16 years later, as I took the ornament off the tree, I thought how sad I'd be if it broke. I had the random, "goofy" thought, "Well, I guess if the ornament breaks, it's over!"

I laughed to myself. Then a couple of things hit me . . .

• Marriage is a fragile thing. I get neck-deep in running kids, working, planning/cooking meals, cleaning, etc. When that happens, my husband gets the old shoe treatment: not much attention, dusty, neglected. I take for granted that he will always be there. With no upkeep, an old shoe will end up as a dog toy! If we quit polishing our relationship, it can become fragile, ineffective and meaningless. Recognizing our selfishness (I am preaching to the choir!), making time for dates together, respecting him—all those things take time and effort. Anyone who has been married for any time at all understands that marriage is work. When your marriage goes through times of fragility, step back and look at your order of priorities.  
  
  
• We have to realize that things aren’t always going to be what we thought they would be. Sometimes we want to give up when a dream shatters, a job is lost, or an expectation isn’t met. When bad or unexpected things happen, it doesn’t mean marriage is over—it just means that bad, unexpected things happen. That’s when the work kicks into high gear. Those are the times we ask God to help us fall in love again and to sustain us through the storm.  Our promise—our vow—is meant to last our whole life.

I love the scene from The Incredibles when Edna (the super suit maker) reminds Elastigirl that her marriage is worth fighting for even when she thinks she is losing Bob, aka Mr. Incredible. (Sometimes I wish I had someone to whack me in the head with a newspaper to knock some sense into me!) You can watch the clip here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLDWhn8HZfY  

As Valentine’s Day approaches, maybe it’s a good time to renew your vows or to decide you’re not giving up even though things may look hopeless. We’ve got to fight for our marriages because there is an enemy who lurks in the shadows looking for a chance to destroy our homes. When your husband disciplines the kids differently, when you have to move because the mortgage can’t be paid, if work absorbs his time or yours, those hard times can become some of the ornaments that will one day decorate our memories. Don’t run from the way things are. Fight—and ask God to win the victory.    

“…being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 

* I know there are some of you who have suffered through a divorce. My heart breaks for you. I want you to know that Laurie and I realize there are things that are out of your control—choices that others make that change your life. Wherever you are in your relationship, we pray God’s grace and endurance for you. If you aren’t in a relationship right now, but are seeking God’s plan for you, I encourage you to read our blog, http://mom-andlovingit.blogspot.com/2010/01/because-he-first-loved-us.html 

Sharon