Follow the Leader

“Hey! Let’s play follow the leader! I get to be the leader first!” he shouted. Stamping her foot, she replied, “No, I wanna be the leader!” “No!” he argued, “I said it first.”

Do you remember playing this childhood game? Why was it so much fun to lead, and not so much fun to follow? Was it because we liked the feeling of being in control of our destiny as well as someone else’s? Or was it that we didn’t like the thought of someone else telling us what to do? Whatever the reason, it was simply more fun to lead, wasn’t it?

In a real sense, marriage is living out the game of “Follow the Leader.” But I have to ask myself, “Who’s doing the leading in my marriage/home?” Just as in the childhood game, only one person can lead, and the other must follow. In Ephesians 5 it talks about wives submitting to their husbands as “to the Lord.” I know, some of you start squirming in your seat as soon as you hear the word “submit.” You may be thinking, “She has no idea who I live with or what I’m going through!” You’re right, I have no idea. But I want to challenge you to look a little deeper into this verse. It says “Submit . . . as to the Lord.” As I pondered this phrase, it suddenly dawned on me that we are not forced to submit to Christ; it is our choice whether or not we will allow Him to lead in our lives. It is the same in marriage. Submission isn’t demanded by dominance; that would be coercion. True submission is when, by our own free will, we choose to “follow the leader.”

If it is God’s plan for wives to support, and follow their man, then why is it constantly a struggle? Why is it that I find myself having to have the last word, always feeling the need to give my opinion, questioning his parenting techniques, not supporting his decisions (sometimes in front of the kids), and constantly intervening. Shall I go on? Please tell me I’m not alone?

“So,” you may be asking, “What does submission look like today? I believe respect and submission go hand in hand. Here are some practical ways to submit and respect our husband.

• Bite your tongue. Every conversation need not become a debate to prove the other wrong.
• Respect his way of doing things—how he holds the baby, disciplines the children, cleans the kitchen or keeps his garage.
• Be quick to listen and slow to speak; pray instead of preach.
• Think the best instead of assuming the worst.
• Get behind him, encourage and support him. Let him know how much you need him. If you don’t feel like you do, stop doing everything. He won’t step up to the plate if you do it all. Don’t be a martyr.
• Use the term our instead of my ("our house", "our kids").

Submission is a choice that doesn’t depend on who makes more money, has the better job or more education. It is an act of obedience . . . “as to the Lord.”


Lord Jesus, thank you that you are opening my eyes to see ways in which I have not been submitting and respecting my husband. Continue to teach me what it means to daily submit my will to You. God, I cannot fulfill this command with out your Spirit working through me. I want to choose to submit to my husband.as to You. Thank you for the peace that comes when we follow you instead of our selfish desires. Submitting to You, Jesus, Amen.

Joyfully submitting as to the Lord!

Laurie

This month we want to hear about the dads in your life. What did your dad do to let you know you were loved? Maybe it's your husband—How does he show your kids that he adores them? So, send us your funny, touching, or courageous dad tales.

Some stories will be posted on our blog and a grand prize winner will receive a $25 Gift Card to Chili's the book,
The Five Love Languages of Children book,
and a Real Man t-shirt ("Real Men Hug Their Kids")!